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they are cheap. [21 Nov 2003|09:33pm]
[ mood | nauseated ]

psychiatric evaluation tomorrow.



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Mr. Yuck [20 Nov 2003|04:39pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

We all close our eyes once in a while. Some more than others, the few unfortunate, not at all. Insomniacs there are called. It gets you through the night to just put your cards out on the table and bluff your way through slumber land where you can only imagine why you are flying through trees of great height.

Wondering why the mind has such chemicals that cause some of us to see beauty and nature that others dont see. To see, or perhaps imagine things that the normal eye cannot pertain, wanting to touch and feel these sensations that you yourself can share with your soul. Dont be afraid when you see that other person who shares your mind with you. Dont worry when your mind splits into two and you can say hello to her, the other person in your mind, you can get along if you try. Dont yell at her, dont ignore her, she will only get angry, instead, give her a name, talk to her often, and share your unseen joys with her as well. Perhaps you dont have another perosn in your head, then disregard this last paragraph. Bye now.

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that there, thats not me. [18 Nov 2003|10:44pm]
[ mood | good ]

I havent yet gathered my sensings, it isnt yet worth a try.

Im tired and too mature to put up with knowledge you think you know, so please just leave me alone and stop using your mouth as your tool.

You should try to be humble, you should try loving people without condition.

I tried.
Goodnight world.

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I put my hands away. [11 Nov 2003|10:28am]
[ mood | apathetic ]

I had a dream that I was there in that room with the little girl laughing at my sin. I told her to keep laughing, and she stopped. Then He came in, I screamed and He cried. He then pulled out a dagger, stabbed me with it 7 times and cried some more. I stood up and wiped the blood away, took a drink of arsenic, and laughed as a drowned in my own despair. I was amused I suppose.

Then came the second of the dreams. I was at a carousel with a cocky young man.He asked if I had the time to white him out. I said I hadnt, and he called me Judy Garland. I laughed and kissed him. I then pulled away as he accused me of the murder of his friend Happy. I assumed it as a dog, I was mistaken. I smiled and walked into the ocean. I spent the night with mermaids.

Those are my dreams. If you can figure them out, Ill make you cookies...good cookies.

Analysis today I think...evaluation later.

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its pipes instead of guns. [11 Nov 2003|10:05am]
[ mood | content ]

Life can be soo great if you just let it. But it can also be horrible for those you love. Nicole, hunny, Im sooo sorry. I love you.

I hope not everyone knows about what happened on Friday, but I cant trust a hope. -the old wordl has passed away.

Have a wonderful day. Im off to write another paper on the moratorium issue that has occupied my mind for some time and taken my interest. Lets hope the professeur was right about my writing technique.

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dont say dont. [06 Nov 2003|06:38pm]
[ mood | happy ]

well, its been a piss on your leg day. In other words..KICKASS.

Im listening to Elvis, thats right...Elvis.

Someone write this damn paper for me.

oh! This morning lawn chairs jumped up and starting dancing for me, but then black and white people hopped in them and they sat down for photographs(im assuming).

Thank you weird mind that is dillusional. Sheesh.

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WOHOOOOOOOOO! [05 Nov 2003|07:28pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]



4 comments|post comment

red wine. [05 Nov 2003|07:01pm]
[ mood | wish i could tell you, yes you ]

Marry me?

Of course.

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your lips are a tragedy. [04 Nov 2003|07:16pm]
[ mood | dorky ]

I read the letter...Im feeling pretty good now.

I changed my colors..twice, so they might change again...

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I put my hands on the needles. [04 Nov 2003|06:36pm]
[ mood | curious ]

Charlotte Flax lives inside this body.

I wanted to express to you how much I miss you, but it doesnt matter because im deaf. Im also going blind, and I have no feeling in my left arm. So, were you going to express your undying affection for me? No? Thats alright.

Do you think Im pretty?


1. yes
2. No.
3. I dont give a darn damn.
4. Shut up.
5. my God, you're stunning...
6. what is that thing!?!?

oOooo..this is soo fun! its like a quiz!not really.

Charlotte Flax took my mind and sang prayers with nuns on Black & White televisions with it.

5 comments|post comment

a job well done Rosie. [03 Nov 2003|09:04pm]
[ mood | grateful ]

I quit.

Dont ask me why he had soo much influence on me today, but he did. Thank you.

I quit.

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you cant resist her. [03 Nov 2003|04:11pm]
[ mood | i have a headache. ]

-and she ran quickly and insanely through the streets of Cardiff;looking for the man who fucked her bearer.Nor chains nor straightjackets could keep her back. Her laughter kept those stones skipping on troubled water. She might faint if you smile at her weakness. Attention was not her goal, it was below her. Actress or birdie, they both wipe the rouge from her cheeks. She asked him for the cause and he gave her a raincheck, and raincoat, and whiteout. Tell her now.

im sooo strange. but it makes sense to me.


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my love's subliminal. [02 Nov 2003|11:22am]
[ mood | sick ]

I had written a big long entry, but I deleted it.

Have a good day.

I seriously need to get some stuff out. Maybe another time.

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[01 Nov 2003|04:53pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

I think I can amke it through anything if i can just sing.

So here i go.

P.S. my mommy bought me MORE eggnog, she KNOWS something is wrong...more eggnog only means one thing.

3 comments|post comment

william wallace killed 100 men with one legend. [01 Nov 2003|02:26pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

she didnt mean to hang herself.
she didnt mean to.
she was too happy for that...

love nor chains could keep her from the sea.

grab my mouth and run for the fucking door.

i suppose i fell alseep among fairies again. dammit.

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almost. [30 Oct 2003|08:19pm]
[ mood | refreshed ]

almost brave.
almost pregnant.
almost in love.

reach high, doesnt mean she's holy, just means shes got a cell handy,

almost pregnant.

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[29 Oct 2003|10:08am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Its a sad day when I person such as I, for example, realizes they are not a worth-while investment. Shucks. I suppose you wont bother then.

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[29 Oct 2003|08:27am]
Just remember this...

What you dont know, you dont need it now.

The End.
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get lost silly parakeet with a gun. [29 Oct 2003|08:16am]
[ mood | melancholy ]

Joan of Arc has returned. With such freedom in this mask, I will reveal my soul and body to your wandering feet. This saint will uncover sickness of the worst sort. This singing actress will tame your sane heart. I will bleed for the sins of angels and sinners alike. I will cry for the lightness of night. I will want you in a cold bed, and I will have you be no other than that crippled laughter. Are you standing with all the other pronouns? Do not spell out my illness, embrace it, and I share and be of a generous kind.

I will not be ignored. I will not be noticed. I want a kiss to seal the wound. Swollen cuts and drunken words are the enemy of such idolization.

And I end as I began, in silence.

PS. I changed my colors. Sometimes I confuse myself. I cant decide if I am willing to understand or not. When I sit down and write, I write for hours, but then when I go back and read these, they seem foreign to me. Written above is an older excerpt.
He leaves Monday. Ill be lonely once more.

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permanent daylight. [28 Oct 2003|06:41pm]
[ mood | drunk ]

The easiest way to sleep at night
Is to carry on believing that I don't exist
The easiest way to sell your soul
Is to carry on believing we don't exist
It must be hard, hard, with your head on backwards

Pointless, but lovely.

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